Weeks Four to Six: Noticing Rhythms & Joy

Well, I'm stepping into my third chemo treatment tomorrow which means I'm about halfway through the entirety of my treatment. It amazes me when I stop to think how I am already here. I will only have one more treatment in October and then get my first Petscan. This will tell us if the chemo has been doing what it's supposed to do & getting rid of my cancer.

Others I've spoken with who've walked this same road have told me that I will notice rhythms and ways that my body will generally respond after each chemotherapy treatment. For me, what I've noticed so far is that...

• The first few days after treatment I will feel mild nausea and increased fatigue. Those days with my lower energy levels I can only generally do one big thing per day and the rest is spent sitting down and doing more low-key things. 
• Fun fact: I can help prevent mouth sores during the first week by gargling water with salt in it. ;-)
• With my tastebuds, it's probably also about the first week or so after chemotherapy that I really gravitate towards more bland foods. And sadly, I also really don't have much of a tolerance for coffee or any other foods that have high acidity during this time. It's around the day 15 mark between treatments that I actually enjoy my normal foods too. (And believe me, this weekend I definitely enjoyed myself to some cider and donuts from Erwin's Orchards -- the absolute best!) 
• I've been experiencing neuropathy in the tips of my fingers. For those unfamiliar, it just feels like a consistent numbness or tingling in my fingers. However, it does not affect my daily functioning or using my fingers, so that's good! 
• Towards the end of the three weeks, my energy levels gradually increase and I'm starting to feel more like myself again. I was even able to go on a 2-mile run/walk this week! I truly believe that the mild symptoms and energy levels that I've been experiencing are due to the power of prayer. So, if you'e been praying, thank you. So much.

If you're anything like me, experiencing the season changing to fall is just a joy: spicy warm drinks, sweaters, pumpkins, and all things cozy. So, while I'm still trying to personally find new life rhythms, I'm thankful there are bits of joy that have been placed in my days: my brothers coming home and having time together, bike rides and trips to downtown Milford in this gorgeous weather, kitchen dance parties and spending time with special people. I've also been thankful for the ability to join a women's Bible study on Tuesday mornings. I love to see friends who stop by throughout the week and students from church on Wednesday nights. I even was able to see a past roommate get married! Thankful for these little things that God puts in these days that bring me joy. 

 

Also, the night before my last treatment, a group of friends from church surprised me by coming over to pray for me, and then gifted me with a box of handwritten letters, notes, books, and gifts. I was told not to open it and had to read the notes when I was in my room getting chemotherapy. So I put the box of notes in my chemo bag and waited until I was in my room for treatment to start to open each one. I then soaked through a few tissues as I read each heartfelt note of encouragement. I'm thankful to know that I am not walking this road alone.

I will be honest with you. While there have been bright spots, these past few weeks have not been the easiest emotionally.  Along with my own diagnosis, some other medical things have happened to a family member that have shaken me up a bit.  Something that is greatly encouraging to me is that God is always with me. Hear me out though. I recognized that this is not contingent on me. It does not matter the amount of faith I have in a moment or not... How much I trust Him with a circumstance or not... Because oftentimes lately, I have felt that I have only such a tiny amount of faith and trust in Him. But God has not stopped reminding me that as I seek Him with the amount of faith I have that He is with me, I am His, and He loves me. 

"But now thus says the Lord,

he who created you, O Jacob,

    he who formed you, O Israel:

'Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

    I have called you by name, you are mine.

2 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you.

3 

4 

Because you are precious in my eyes,

    and honored, and I love you." 

(Isaiah 43: 1-2, 4)

Praises from prayer requests I have had: 

• I've only had mild symptoms as I am reacting to the drugs during and after chemotherapy.
• I've had things come up as possible ways that God would like me to serve Him during this season. This includes in the church and other opportunities outside, as well.
• Getting used to wearing scarves more. And it's nice because they are definitely in season! It's been fun collecting more & even have friends send them to me as sweet gifts. 

Prayer requests: 

• Continued mild side effects for the chemotherapy drug Rituxin. I believe that they are going to try to give it to me faster tomorrow since I've been reacting well to it. Prayers that this does not include increased symptoms.
• For my family member who is receiving surgery soon for heart-related issues, that the surgery & recovery would go well. 
• Continuing to find daily rhythms, letting go of my idea of what life "should" look like, & having my eyes open to the sweet blessings God has for me every day.
• Seeking God's perspective on the way I look 
• I have not yet gone looking for wigs. Prayers as I engage in this process.