Second & Third Weeks: New Symptoms + Hair Loss

Hi there, I know it's been a few weeks since my last post & I wanted to update you all with how things were going. 

On my previous post, I asked for prayers for my mouth sores and had been given a "magic mouthwash". I was using my mouth wash before meals and when they would just generally hurt. I am grateful to say that only after a few days (not even a week) of using my mouth wash the pain and the sores started to go away. Thank you so much for your prayers.  

This last Monday morning as I was brushing my hair I noticed it had started to fall out. It was predicted this would happen on day 14 but this was day 11. I wasn't able to get in to see my hairstylist, Elle, until Friday morning.  So, for the rest of the week, I just put my hair up in a ponytail. I decided that I wasn't going to touch it besides to reapply dry shampoo and to redo my ponytail and bangs. However, each time I did this, it would fall out a little more here and there. 

Finally, Friday morning came, and I drove over to Elle's house in Clawson. I love Elle. I've been going to  her for about a year. The first time I ever met Elle I had damaged dead ends and I knew it. After some brief small talk, she point-blank said to me "So, please tell me. What have you been doing to your hair?!" She was honest and wasn't interested in telling me what I wanted to hear. So I knew she was one of the safest people I could've asked to walk through this with me.   

After I showed up in her driveway, Elle lead me downstairs to her adorable basement hair salon. We discussed how I wanted a pixie-cut similar to what Anne Hathaway has done before. As Elle started to brush out my hair, we noticed that more hair was starting to come out in her brush. By the time we had washed it, it was not looking good. We both recognized this and Elle in her tenderhearted honesty agreed I probably wasn't going to be able to do the pixie-cut like I had wanted. We would need to buzz it. We hugged and cried and then jumped right in. I am so grateful that she was there with me to give me a different perspective. She also encouraged me to call a few special people who would encourage and uplift me in that time. 

             

 

We then went to Royal Oak to get me some new headbands. She took me to her favorite boutique Saffron and then we grabbed lunch at Lily's Seafood Grill & Brewery. It was a sweet memory that I will never forget. The rest of that afternoon and weekend were spent some of my favorite people. They made me laugh, smile and helped fill my mind with truth, as I am getting used to this new normal looking in the mirror. 

Being honest, this has not been an easy process for me. As I stated earlier, it's probably been the most difficult part of this journey so far. For the majority of the time between my first two treatments, I felt more like myself.  It helped me keep a sense of normalcy because I still had my hair. It all still felt a little surreal. 

There was a book I read about two years ago and have gone back to many times after called True Beauty by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre. It discusses early on in the book how as women we believe that beauty is essential to a happy life. "We think that if you are beautiful, you will achieve true romance and lasting love, that you will be popular and well-liked. We believe physical beauty is the key to self-confidence and self-worth, the only way to be satisfied, significant, and successful. ... (However) eventually, physical beauty will disappoint us all. ... Beauty does not provide the satisfaction every human heart is searching for." Further on, Mahaney and Whitacre give a resolution to this. "In all our struggles with beauty, whether nagging or consuming, God has provided the wisdom that we need in his eternal Word." 

When I look in the mirror and see someone new and slightly unfamiliar, I believe that God wants me to remember where He asks me to find my true identity. My identity and who I really am as a woman, as a person is not found in my hair or any other way I look. In Ephesians 1 in the Bible, Paul,  a follower of Christ,  reminds the people in Ephesus of their identity and who they are as believers in Christ. This too is what I want to remember about who I am as a follower of Christ all the time. However, lately when I am discouraged about my hair loss and need to be reminded where my value truly lies, Ephesians 1 reminds me that: 

• I am blessed (v.3). 
• I was chosen before the foundation of the world (v.4)
• I am holy and blameless in his sight (v.4) 
• I am adopted into Christ's family (v.5) 
• I have been redeemed (v.7)  
• I am forgiven (v.7) 
• I am a receiver of the riches of His grace (v.7)

There are many truths that encourage me but these are things that I need frequently remind myself in this season. 

If you are a praying person, some recent prayer requests that I have are: 

• Yesterday, I had my second round of chemotherapy. Thank you for those of you who have prayed.  I had no reactions yesterday to the drug Rituxin that I did have a reaction to last time. 
• I have had only slight nausea last night and this morning. Prayers that this continues. 
• Continued prayers for my hair loss and as I look into getting a wig & other options that I have.
• Ways that God wants me to serve Him in this season. 

I so love and appreciate all of you. If there is anything, please let me know how I can be praying for you in this time.