First Week

Hi there friends and family, 

Well, it’s been my first week since chemotherapy. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check on how I’ve been doing or have continued to reach out in support. I feel like the words I could choose to express my feelings of gratitude for you all just don't quite seem do it justice. So, truly thank you. So much.

As I mentioned, a week ago today was my first round of chemotherapy. There are no guests allowed to come with me due to COVID-19 protocol. So, my mom dropped me off at 7am in the driveway in front of Karmanos. As I was checking in for the day, I was able to make small talk with a man I had recognized from a previous appointment. I then went up to the Dresner Family Clinic for Hematologic Malignancies. I got my labs done, then spoke with my doctor and nurses about my regimen and what to expect that day. I was in my room around 9:30am. I made sure to bring things that were comforting to me: a cozy to-go mug of coffee and a bag that some co-workers gifted me filled with things to make my day go by quickly. The nurses put my IV in for the day and started giving me medication around 10am. They told me this would be my longest day & I'd get out around 5pm. The longest part was going to be the drug Rituxin (it’s the R in RCHOP which is my chemotherapy regimen). The nurse would be giving it to me slowly for about 3 or 4 hours to check how my body would react. Some people react pretty severely, and so they wanted to give it to me slowly and keep tabs on how my body would handle it. Throughout the day I was able to get to know the people in and out of my room checking in on me. They also gave me Benedryl to help with my reaction to the drugs and it made me tired. So, I was also able to pop in my new Bose headphones, listen to some calming music, and get a little rest. The doctors and nurses were helpful and very attentive to my needs and questions being a first-time patient. 

Many have been asking how I’ve been feeling since. In the hospital, I had a slight reaction to the drug I had mentioned called Rituxin. However, the nurses said it was only minor compared to how others have reacted. My throat had only started to slightly swell and then they immediately took me off of it and gave me more Benedryl. I was thankful it was only a small reaction. The first night after chemotherapy I did feel a bit nauseous and they’ve put me on a few meds to handle the nausea. However, since Friday morning, I thankfully have not had any nausea. 

I did start to notice Sunday evening my throat feeling sore. Since then I have developed some mouth sores. One of my nurses explained to me that this is one of the common side effects of chemotherapy, along with hair loss. The reason that I’m getting mouth sores is due to the chemo attacking rapidly growing cells. And unfortunately, it doesn’t differentiate between the rapidly growing good and bad cells. So, I have been prescribed “magic mouthwash” (yes, I was told this is the actual name :-) to take prior to eating meals or whenever I notice it hurting. The pain has greatly decreased since Sunday. I’m grateful for that since it makes it easier to continue to eat delicious foods I love. 

Another side effect I’ve also noticed recently is increased fatigue. As I’ve been coming off the steroid they gave me, my energy levels have been decreasing & I've noticed myself sleeping more, taking mid-day naps, or just getting tired earlier in the evening. It’s easy for normal things like getting ready to leave the house to sometimes make me tired. 

 My doctors and friends who’ve also had this diagnosis have explained that I’ll probably have enough energy for one “event” per day. So it’s been nice to be able to go out do things like enjoy lunch on a patio in a downtown area, brunch at Panera with a friend and her son, going for walks on trails, Trader Joe's trips, enjoying time with family, and friends joining me for dinner on my porch or at their house. It’s helped me get out of the house and still feel like myself. Afterward, I’m usually pretty tired but it’s been very much worth it. I’m getting into the days where I’m most immunocompromised and so I’m not sure how much longer I’ll feel up to doing things like this. My nurse also said that at first, the fatigue will usually get worse. Then it keeps getting better until it's time for my next round of chemo. 

My brother had sent me some helpful tips from a classmate from his PT program who recently had a similar diagnosis as mine and is now in remission. She had really practical tips, but what stood out to me from her advice was maintaining regular exercise and especially getting outside in the sunlight. This was inspiring and encouraging to me. So, I’ve been continuing to get outside for bike rides and walks, and as well as, doing online barre workouts to maintain strength. I notice this often will give me a boost of energy I didn’t have before. Also, the weather has been lovely lately. It’s been a gift to be able to get outside. 

I’ve been continuing to spend time with God daily in my morning devotions. I’ll often grab a blanket, my coffee, and Bible & sit out on my front porch in the morning. This is beneficial for me for many reasons and gives me perspective on my life and my current situation. While so many truths about God have been refreshing to me lately, something that really has been standing out to me is how in Psalm 23 it discusses the Lord as our Shepherd. This has come up in conversations with friends, sermons I’ve listened to, and a personal Bible study I’m doing. Repetition in my times with God always tells me to listen up, because God is trying to teach me something. One key thing that stands out is that I am like a sheep. I like to go my own way or even, honestly, don't know the right way, but I need a Shepherd to lead. This psalm shows me that I can trust the Good Shepherd where He is leading me, even if the path is unknown. This season holds a lot of unknowns for me. I'm learning to trust more that God will not lead me where He is not in control or not present. If He is leading me and I trust that, He will be there.

Prayer requests for this week: 

• That my mouth sores would continue to get better and the medicine would continue to work. 
• As I navigate my energy levels throughout the day and determine when to rest and when it’s ok to be active. 
• It’s up in the air about if, when, and how much of my hair will fall out. I’ll be meeting soon with my lovely hairstylist to come up with fun, stylish options for this season of my life.  Prayers as I navigate this. 
• Continued prayers for staying mentally active during this time as I’m off work. Also, for all my teacher friends (and for parents and students!), who are going back to this unprecedented moment.

Thank you all again for your support. I'm humbled and grateful.